Preface
Recent discussions about boards crashing and the concomitant deletion of databases planted the seed – and Speakeasy’s return from the dead, archives intact, filled the hydroponics reservoir. Thus flowered a notion I’d had for a while, of harvesting my old posts in the inevitable event of another board wipeout. Okay, enough with the gardening metaphors.
About twenty minutes of retrieving and downloading-to-disk, however, made me realize through heavy heavy eyelids how time-consuming and boring this task actually was – how did Brandon Orr get the energy to do this night after night; and why? – and cobbled up this much-simpler Plan B you now cyberhold in your virtual hands. Which is to say a best-of sampler – a Frankenstein monster stitched together from the dead text of condemned posts: a one-liner here, a bitter rant there, a glop of occasional sentiment, parody bolts for the neck - all generously seasoned with paranoid scapegoating of the Usual Suspects, and split up over several consecutive posts. This is probably the best method for rehashing this old crap, and definitely the easiest.
I may eventually get around to doing likewise with the OD archives, although at this point even I’m sick of me. For now, however, submitted for your approval: this compendium of high dudgeon and low comedy, culled from the pre-dead-Niccolo Speakeasy files in the nick of time before that forum’s recent defection to Pure Evil and Interracial Slow-dancing.
I know what you’re probably thinking – wouldn’t the proper and circumspect thing to do here be to wait for somebody else to do this instead of shamelessly blowing your own horn? Probably. But somebody else wouldn’t be able to tidy up the text, punch up the wobblier jokes, and omit all the stuff that makes me look less than wonderful. See how that works?
Entries will be in alphabetical index-format. For clarity’s sake, I ask that you all please refrain from posting to this thread until I’ve finished adding all the entries.
Hopefully this will raise a snicker or three. If so, may I say my mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and my Dual-Seedline Resistance War Chieftain thanks you.
www.nytimes.com
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www.change.org
